I have looked up information on orgasms online, and i just can’t seem to have one. I’ve tried everything from not being stressed and relaxing, to different positions, and different foreplay, etc.
NOTHING works.
And no, it’s not him, because he does everything possible he can.
Is it really possible to just not ever be able to orgasm?
Last night, we worked at it for hours and nothing happened. And we’re both just getting frustrated with it.
He says it makes him feel like “less of a man” because he can’t get me to do it. which makes me fell horrible. Along with being disappointed.
and i don’t want to fake it.
Can someone please give me tips other than “relax” and things like that?? Tips like what he or i can physically do to help.
It’s getting to the point where i don’t even want to get into bed anymore because i just know it’ll be a disappointment.
help?? I promise i’ll choose a best answer.
Also, i cannot achieve an orgasm by myself either. Or with oral
And, this may be TMI, but i get no stimulation from the clit. is that normal?
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Great Foreplay Tips For Men & Women
31-Mar-2010
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I had this same problem it seemed with a past girlfriend, so no, don’t worry at all. Can you masturbate and have an orgasm or not? If not, that sounds very strange. If it’s just when you’re with your boyfriend, no worries! You might just be a little uncomfortable no matter HOW much you don’t want to admit you are. You might have many different things on your mind, perhaps what’s for dinner to if you’re thinking about pleasuring your boyfriend. Just try keeping your mind completely clear, and enjoy your pleasure.
First of all how you actually feel emotionally can affect if you orgasm or not, have you tried sex games…lube…also even getting a small clit vibrator might hep.
Make sure you are totally in the mood for sex, let him play and close your eyes and imagine you touching and playing with him.
I would seriously invest in a clit vibrator and play with that yourself first.
Loads of people go through the same thing – relax and enjoy!
you are trying far to hard ,it is something that just happens naturally,even in your sleep.and there are millions of women who never in their lifetime have one
umm well …
liquor helps…. gets some aphrodisiacs along too
i know all say relax but when ur mind knows u need to relax u dont relax more …. chances of being cautious spoils it more n then u feel the pressure of performance etc etc….
lil whiskey put the inhibitions away…… gives a little carefree thought… n let aphrodisiacs set up the rest of mood..
well the pressure of him getting upset can definately disable you from orgasm. if you have orgasmed and just not with him then maybe your not as comfortable with him
okay look.
this is ridiculous
i know what you’re going through, and to be honest it hasn’t happened for me yet either.
BUT.
what he is doing is the absolute WRONG THING for you!!!! i can believe you’re even putting up with that. it doesn’t matter if you’re “TRYING” or not, if he’s going to put that pressure on you, and say to your FACE that YOU NOT COMING is making him feel like LESS OF A MAN??? then he needs a serious talk.
sure it may be difficult, but that’s only because you don’t know what works for you yet!! you need to be by yourself and try, for some women it comes easy (lol sorry no pun intended) and some it takes more work to find out for yourself. i mean i’ve only just started having sex, about 6 months (i’m 19 btw not 12) and it’s just a timing thing, i think when i just calm down and stop thinking i HAVE to, then i will you know? so you need to think that too.
sorry to not give you any tips, but it’s just not something that you can really give tips for!! actually, oh my god, i’m gonna put link here for the best website, it’s got all the vids with just chicks sitting around a table talking about everything, and i mean everything, and it’s not UBER LAME like freakin….THE VIEW or something. these girls are hot, and know what they want, and are just cool. so just pick the orgasm videos and just understand that women are different and it takes some effort!! i’m in the working, wish me luck hahaha ew
good luck to you i’m sure you’er not far away at all
Maybe get yourself off first? Then it’s easier to know what works. If he contributes to the stress level, it will make it worse. I’ve known many women that didn’t habve an orgasn until late 20’s, even 30’s. They didn’t realize they were stressing about it and it finally happened once they forgot about it, the time and the person were right…that can take a while.
Enjoy sex for now, stop obsessing…if he obsesses it makes its worse for u.
Well, in a way it *is* him. After all, he’s putting pressure on you, he’s making you feel bad about it; he’s even saying that his masculinity depends on your orgasm… or lack of one. So now every time you have sex, you feel disappointed and frustrated before you even start. Mmm, such a sexy feeling! Only… not.
You say you’ve tried everything but I have no way of knowing if that is true. I don’t know what your idea of ‘everything’ consists of. If you can have orgasms by masturbating, and if you even know where your clitoris is.
All of these are relevant for any answer I could give you.
So I can only give you some general advice.
I’m not sure if you realise that about 75% of all women cannot climax from intercourse in itself. So if you’re one of them, that’s quite normal. And if you are, and you were expecting to have orgasms from intercourse, then it’s your expectation (and your boyfriend’s) that’s wrong. Not anything about your body or your physical reactions.
Most of us need clitoral stimulation to get off. Either before, during, after or instead of intercourse. For many women, intercourse by itself isn’t all that great; it’s mainly being that close to him, and the emotional connotations, that make it very special. But it’s just one form of sex among many, and definitely not the best or easiest way for us to climax.
I’d advise you to stop having intercourse for a while. It’s probably not doing much for you anyway. Concentrate on all the other great things you can do. Stop seeing sex as ‘working on your orgasm’.
Orgasm may be the destination… or *a* possible destination… but too many of us forget to enjoy the journey.
Good for you for not faking it. If you’d done that, it would only increase your chances of never having an orgasm. Your boyfriend would think he was doing fne. And he would never learn what it takes for you to climax.
If you don’t masturbate, I respectfully suggest that you do. Once you learn what works for you, you’ll feel better because you know you’re capable of having an orgasm. And you’ll be able to show him how. Or you can stimulate yourself before or during intercourse.
Try a vibrator, if you haven’t already. It may be helpful in learning to recognise your body’s response to erotic stimulation. Plus, it feels great. You can also use it while playing around together.
I hope any of this helps. Also see the article linked below. Good luck… and enjoy!